DUDE. You are SO fucking ANGRY that this CHICK doesn’t want to SCREW you. ALSO you use a LOT of capslock. Like, a lot.
This thing is all over the place. BUT I feel like it could be FUN to see the conversation that PROMPTed this post. If writing ABOUT that interaction TICKLES your fancy, please post a link in the comments below!
RANDOM CAPS LOCK ‘CAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT?!
- Has a wife
- Seems to think someone who works in retail smiling at him is a special sign of potential affection
- Oh, my bad. She also sometimes says “Good morning.” Yep, that sounds like a woman who’s desperate to have sex with you.
- Ends his listing with a question that is so, so skeevy.
This doesn’t sound like an asshole who harasses women and wants to (but probably can’t) cheat on his wife. Nope, not at all. #sarcasmintended
One individual brave enough to even give us his name (if that’s his real name) has posted an advertisement on Craigslist:
First of all, this guy is really into music. He mentions wanting to watch “The Sound of Music,” which is a really long date movie, and mentions he wants a girl who will “sing with” him. I have to wonder, is this relationship feasible if she’s tone deaf?
But even more interesting, to me, is his comment at the end: “…let’s email and see if fate is really blind.” Is that a thing? I know they say justice is blind, but did not realize that people said fate is blind, too.
Regardless, I hope you find your “missed connection,” Brian.
You do know that when alarms are ringing, that’s generally indication of an emergency, right? If alarms are ringing in your head while someone is pleasuring you, maybe that’s a sign that you’re supposed to evacuate…
…tears apart a beautiful love affair.
Ok. WHY don’t you know his first name?
Oh, Ann Arbor Craigslist missed connections – how I love thee!
Pretty much this entire post is amaze-balls, but my favorite line is the one about his parents being disappointed.
It’s such an odd line to end the post on, and also caused me to wonder, temporarily, if the disappointed parents had written it. I vote towards “no,” although if his parents had written it, it would make giggle.