I just finished Rose Pressey’s Flip That Haunted House, which I was hoping would be witty, amusing, and full of ghosts. It was none of those things.
Thus, I find I must recommend that you never, ever read this book.
If, however, you are held at gunpoint, and thus must devour the pages of this novel, I have created the following drinking game to help you through it.
Take a Drink If:
- The dialogue is mind-numbingly boring, and you’re only half paying attention.
- Something dangerous happens. (Take two drinks if something dangerous happens, but you just. Don’t. Care if any of the characters get hurt or not.)
- You come across a typo or formatting error.
- Someone makes a psychic pronouncement.
- The main character makes a remark about hating her name or makes a remark defending it (to you, dear reader, or others).
- Every time the protagonist swoons for her handyman neighbor. (Take two drinks if she does so immediately after saying she’s so totally not into him.)
- You’re asking yourself why a new plot twist was introduced.
- You’re asking yourself why the supernatural plot isn’t more involved in a book supposedly written about flipping a haunted house.
Take five drinks if the heroine kisses someone & you’re wondering why there isn’t at least some graphic sex to try to save this book.
There you go. Either your crazed torturer will shoot you, or you will die of alcohol poisoning.